Duality

Climax
I.
you’re back
I feel you darting around
indecisive
oscillating between metal and wood

II.
I know you’re not me
but I’m terrified that I might be you

III.
you’re repeating your old tricks
metal and wood, metal or wood
but you’re getting impatient
and now you’re trying something new

IV.
I’m sharpening my pencil for maximum impact
you’ve always been the better writer
this is blood and tears and the dust of your mother’s sweat
all I have is a handful of shavings

V.
you’ve convinced yourself that you can fly
this time it’s real this time it’s goodbye

First Act
I.
they say there’s no way to know
where the pain comes from
but I know it’s in my head
my heart my stomach my bones my feet

II.
he says I’m not depressed
I’m just sad
he knows
because he is

III.
I play melancholy music to lift my mood
I see emotions in landscapes
my best friend is a chameleon
that turns black when I touch it

IV.
the temperature has dropped to below zero
and I am stuck in this pantomime
nobody knows that I am planning an escape
I am nuclear as ever

Second Act
I.
they haven’t even noticed that I’m gone
now that you’ve taken the lead
metal and wood, metal or wood
we carefully plan our retreat

II.
you’re taking over
I’m getting weak
metal-metal-metal-metal
wood-wood-wood-wood

III.
metal
:and then nothing
wood
:and the void

IV.
an escape – a rescue
away from him away from you
if only for a while

Interlude
I.
this is liberty this is sorority this is
metaphysical notes on a grand piano
played by seraphim and nephilim
hand-picked by God himself

II.
I join the trees as they grow outwards
and upwards reaching
for the summer sun
wait for me

III.
I’m dancing in the moonlight
the mountains are my backdrop
the stars are my music
and I am my own conductor

Third Act
I.
too many crows in my veins
he brought them here and he brought you too
I chased them away just like I did you
But he chose to stay

II.
I left the fire
and the water

III.
finally a fight I think I have won I think
I’ve escaped you him myself everyone
thinks I’m a bloody mess they’re wrong
I’m clocking in I’m cashing out

Conclusion
I.
don’t fall in love with me
I have nothing to offer
but an empty bottle of pills, a notebook
and a sigh

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